Eh is such an interesting term, and it is one that has come from my childhood... One that returns me to my roots. Which is exactly what I did this last weekend. For those of you who want to know what it is like to be an adopted child, this post will give you another peek into that life...
It is ironic that the last post from two years ago was about the discovery of my birth dad. Never in a million years did I actually think meeting in person would be a real thing. It is a hope, a dream, but rarely a reality for most adopted kids. Especially when you live around 1,200 miles from one another.
Now those of you who know me know, when I put my mind to something, there is no stopping me. I make up my mind and one way or another it will happen. Usually at the drop of a hat, and with really no planning. That was something I did not get in my genes! (A planner? not Amy!) Way back in January my aunt Nita on the Werner side invited me to the facebook group for the Werner Family Reunion. Get this, they hold a reunion EVERY year! That alone amazes me. They work hard to maintain a strong family bond year after year. Even though some cannot attend each year, I know that each member of that side of my family knows they have a real support system behind them.
About a month ago, I seriously started thinking that I may be able to make the reunion. I recently quit my full time job and started assisting in a salon. We want to eventually start a family and had hoped that this would help my stress level. I am blessed with a dear husband who works so hard insuring that I can be home more often and focus on things other than work. This has allowed me some real freedom. Sky has saved all his PTO from work and after choosing whether to fly or drive (driving made actually WAY more sense for us!) we realized my dream was happening! Traveling to Canada this time would answer so many questions I have always yearned to truly understand.
So I suppose I should give some background... Being adopted is a huge blessing. As I previously stated I have been given such a lovely life. Amazing and well rounded parents who cared about my every need. They insured I was well taken care of and so loved. I have never wondered if I would want for anything of if I was alone. My parents taught me to be self reliant, to work hard and to look for the good in others. These things were environmental and wonderful. The exact things I needed to become the person I would become. However there are some things in your blood... For instance, who you look like, some personality traits and talents that run through you. You could say a lot of this is selfish. My questions about myself, meaning the hows and the whys, but it is what it is. A soul search you could say, one that cannot be answered because you don't have the right puzzle pieces to complete your own self portrait. I am sure it could drive some insane, and maybe it did that for me a bit. There was no way, after finding Lynn that I would let those questions stay unanswered.
After two years of contact, photos, and conversation I knew there was no time like the present. Off to Canada we went...
In the car I texted my best friends asking for advice with little luck. There is no rule book for this kind of thing. These are uncharted waters, waters I was lucky to explore with Sky. He is my rock, my warm hand to hold and my greatest joy. He took my hand and let me know all would be well and to just be myself. Nothing more was needed. We drove through the night, and I was able to actually drive a lot of the trip. My nerves must have been through the roof because I drove way more than the usual hour before passing the wheel to Skyler. (Note: He drove the whole way home... Whoopsie!)
We arrived at the absolutely stunning Sylvan Lake. The fact that it was pouring rain also kicked me into gear. Nothing makes me feel more at home then a fresh summer rain. I could do this. Meeting someone you've never met, who blessed you with life, was a little overwhelming.
We pulled into the driveway and instantly I saw Lynn (my birth dad) on the front steps. Even though I think I started shaking at that moment I knew all was well. When you wait 26 years for a hug you can't help but be thrilled.
I felt like I had known him my whole life. I wish I had more to sum this moment up, but that's truly the best I can do. Looking into someone's face who pretty much mirrors your own, (In a guy form of course) answers so many deep questions. The rain continued to pour that day, but I felt nothing but sheer joy! I even met my two younger siblings. Two kiddos full of sunshine and light. They have been raised well and have an inspiring zeal for life.
I was then able to meet my beautiful aunts, their kind and very accepting husbands and of course my cousins. I didn't have many of those so this was such a thrill! Guys and gals close to my age who helped myself and Skyler feel right at home. I am amazed by each of these families. Strong willed and filled with personality, I loved every minute!
The next day I was able to meet my other three brothers. I instantly felt a real friendship there. These handsome fellas are living their lives and are growing into good people. Each one of them is different from one another, but I felt instantly bonded to them.
It's an amazing feeling walking into someone else's home, someone else's family no less... And being welcomed with open arms. Through many loving and deep conversations with Aunts and brothers and especially Lynn my life has been changed for the better. Questions about who I am have been answered and I know I have another home. Although it is many miles away, I know I have more family to love and be loved by. What more can a girl ask for but to know that she is loved in every way. Now it is about living a life deserving of that love... What more can I do, but live and love the best I can.
Remember, no matter the circumstance, YOU are living a life worth loving. And if you feel you are not, what's stopping you? go get it, even if you have to drive 15 hours to get it...
